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Even though Athletes make millions of dollars each year, it doesn’t take long for Super Bowl winners to fade into the annals of history. NBA players boast of large significance in their community and their ability to be role models, but as soon as they retire, who remembers?
But if I were to and ask a group of people at any age, “who can remember their favorite elementary teacher?” or, “who can remember the coach who spoke into your life at a pivotal time?” I would bet hands all over the room would go up.
In our culture of celebrity, we’ve forgotten that today’s Athlete, Pop-Star, Actress, or Actor soon will be a fading memory. But Coach Lucks in Little Rock Arkansas meant the world to me as he mentored me through the harsh tumultuous waters of adolescence. I’ll never forget him.
For the last 20 years, my work has been primarily focused on mentoring teenagers and emerging adults. So if you’re really interested in being involved with these incredible students, here are a few key things to remember as you get started:
Key #1: People Are People
For some reason there’s this strange idea that youth is cool and hip, and old adult is boring and outdated. Ok, I’ll agree, as long as you’re talking about fashion or Hollywood. But let’s be honest for a minute…
People are people, and we’re all dealing with the same stuff. We all need to be needed. We all want to know and be known. We all have issues in our physical life, our social life, our vocational life, our family life; and the quicker you can recognize the student you’re about to mentor is just another person; THE BETTER!
Students will try and come off like they have everything together, but they haven’t had the time-honored struggle of living to perfect it. Their attitude comes off as sarcastic, they lean in on the things they think are right and true, but in the end they’re the most insecure demographic in every culture around the world.
Before you engage in mentoring the First 3rd, put on your “People Glasses” and look seriously into the heart of a fear-filled human being. Their bodies are changing. Their minds are growing. They are establishing opinions independent from that of their families.
This is the most dynamic time of life, and to be a mentor in this arena…well, it doesn’t get any better than this.
Key #2: Teenagers and Emerging Adults are in the Pressure Cooker of Environment
I used to teach that a Belief System was like a life Code, everyone needs a code to live by to serve as a central theme of their existence. Then I hung around students. There’s no Code today. Everything they believe about the world comes from the pressures of the environment around them acting on the 8 dimensions of their life.
Multiple studies show that Family has the #1 impact on how a student sees the world. Coming in at a close second is The Media. And finally, a student develops their core worldview in a large part by what their friends think.
Sure, they will learn through faith experiences, vocational experiences, biological DNA pre-programming and a variable of others, but Family, Friends, and Media, are the three most important.
So if you’re beginning a mentoring relationship with a student or an emerging adult, and you’re not a part of the family, you need to study up on what their friends are all about, what they’re learning in the movies they’re watching, and what they’re listening to on their iPod.
You’ll have a clear understanding of who you’re dealing with, once you do a little homework, and you can participate in the understanding of another person’s view of the world around them.
Key #3: Living “With” not “At”
I don’t know if it started with the Greeks, The Romans, or our Modern American Education system, but somewhere we adopted the premise that if you are older you know more. I know most of the time that’s true by the mere factor of experiences, but the First 3rd people are looking for a place to find significance. They want to be heard. They’ve got some great ideas about how the world should spin, but they need a place to vet their ideas.
Instead of living “At” someone with an agenda to fill his or her head with knowledge, take a step back and start living “WITH” someone who you can share life with. The current demographic of emerging adults will find so much more value in you and the mentoring relationship if there is some space for them to be listened to intently, encouraged softly, and loved abundantly
And that’s why we remember those coaches and teachers. They didn’t try to live “At” us. For some reason they had the ability to live in our environment and we all felt like they understood us. They were probably really good actors, but that’s beside the point.
When those in the First 3rd sense that you are going to live life with them and help them become all they were created to be, you’re going to be on the ride of your life. There’s nothing more rewarding than listening to a graduation speech, an award ceremony, or receive a thank you letter from a student who says, “Because of you…I am here.”
Now get out there, and Live Life Together.
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