Who are you?

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(In all the decades of life one may be granted, that first decade is crucial for life-long development in all of the 8 Dimensions of the Circle of Life. Therefore, faithful grandparents have written about the value of life-enhancing mentoring of those kiddos in the First Decade (0-10) of their existence.
Next we informed you in another post about why looking at life in Three3rds is of life-giving value when mentoring anyone of any age, birth to olde age of 90+. Life is to be nurtured, carefully, from its first to last breath. Our LDG mentoring model does just that.
This web post aims at the Second Decade of Life.  Andy Braner, a frequent contributor to this blog is joined by his wife Jamie Jo.  These two have spent a majority of their lives working with those in the Second Decade of Life (10-20).  Their thoughts are full of wisdom, not just for that age, but any age. Andy and Jamie Jo have also been personally and organizationally mentored by LDG’s Founder/Master Mentor for 12 years now. Read on.)

We wonder: How many students ever have the chance to explore the “Who” rather than the “What” questions as they navigate life?  In the First3rd of life, this is the decade of adolescence that will begin to more deeply define who they will be as adults.

With a culture interested in…

What are you doing with your life?

How are you quantifying your time to maximize WHAT you do?

What are the answers to my questions (referring to education at the academic level)?

Those questions are not bad in and of themselves. However, the opportunity to engage the real life question: WHO ARE YOU?  seems to be pushed to the side, assumed to be found along the way, rather than intentionally working to identify the key components of what makes someone unique in this world.

For the last 20 years, we’ve been working with students to help them investigate the WHO ARE YOU questions.  Often when either of us begins a relationship with a student, the vernacular is part of a steep learning curve, because they’ve been told their whole lives that value is directly correlated to production.

You’re valuable if you win the game.
You’re valuable if you get the best grades.
You’re valuable if you lead up front.
You’re valuable if you have a specific talent found interesting in the culture.
You’re valuable if you have significant followers on Social Media.

But if you don’t fit into any one of those places, we find students get lost in the grind of production without the ability or the know how to work through the valuable question: WHO ARE YOU?

Zack came to one of our programs as an 18 year-old high school graduate without any idea of what he wanted to do in his life.  He graduated from a public school in his hometown, and no one ever helped him with the fundamental question of “Who are you?”  not “What do you want to do?”

Zack went on an 8 month journey with us around the world during a Kivu Gap Year.  I (Andy writing here) intentionally introduced him to leaders, companies, NGO’s around the world; all to help him see what opportunities are out there in this vast wide world.

As I kept pushing him to see possibilities, I also was intentional about leading him through the Leadership Design Circle of Life with all eight dimensions.  I asked him questions about family, vocational aptitude, intellectual interests, times to be creative, and what excited him about the learning WHO Zack was, and WHO he was becoming.

At first he tried to impress me with a resume of sorts.  He told me about all the extra-curricular activities he was involved in. He boasted of his grade point average.  He told me how he’d been accepted to an out of state university, and was proud to be heading into engineering.  “I think I can get a good job if I…”

Again:  none of the above was wrong in and of itself.  But what I was really interested in helping Zack find was the person who jumped out of bed in the morning excited to be a part of something bigger than he.

The longer we talked
The more we met
The taller the bridge of trust was built
between Zack and me

I started seeing an interesting part of Zack hidden from the public.

Zack was interested in helping people. He had a unique way of being the guy many people in his peer group sought out for advice. He intentionally started looking for places to connect with others. He became a leader at his fraternity at the university.

By the end of his freshman year, Zack had developed a whole life-mentoring plan for the members of the school.  He cared deeply for the men in his house, and he wanted to see how he could develop an on-ramp for new members to engage with current members and the alumni of his group.

Zack found the WHO. We are continuing to press in on WHO he is and how he can continue to express himself.

Yes, he still has to do the grades.

He still has to go to work.

He still has to achieve and perform.

But…

…he has learned where he can connect performance and production to that piece of passion he has inside himself. He is become more alive.  Zack will be making a difference in our world.

What about you? WHO ARE YOU? Who you are becoming? LDG exists to help you answer that question and from that answer, to flourish in all 8 Dimensions of your live throughout its Three3rds.

The Braner Family

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