[blox_column width=”1/1″][/blox_column][blox_heading title=”“We’ve tried everything. Don’t you have a program for them?”” size=”h3″ style=”style5″ animation=”none”][/blox_heading][blox_text animation=”none”]
This dreaded phone call is the newest trend I’m experiencing in my work with students. It comes from parents who have 21-23 year old children living in the basement. I can hear the desperation in their voice from the realization they have run out of answers.
- The students aren’t motivated
- They’re over qualified
- They have no experience
- They’re looking at the world through a pessimistic lens
- They want to be successful
- They have no idea how
- They’re trying to figure out life, but it seems like the roadway just stopped after graduation.
I’ve often thought, “If I could only put together a program for older students…”
But in reality…that’s what the teen years are for.
Unfortunately, our education system with teenagers continues to be about regurgitation instead of learning. Our apprenticeships for hands on practical learning are all but gone.
And most parents are more concerned that kids are in extra curricular activities than they are actually trying to help students find their giftedness.
So what’s the answer to preparing teens to be productive adults?
How about three…
- Let’s start developing students with a sense of purpose
Not long ago, I spoke with a mother worried that her son was playing too many video games. He would wake up and play, come home from school and play, and then spend time in the wee hours of the morning playing on his game system. “How do I get him off this thing, it’s frying his brain” she asked.
First of all, the reason male teenagers play video games is…IT’S THE ONLY PLACE IN THEIR LIFE WHERE THEY CONTROL ANYTHING!!
We’ve taken away every place where a teen boy can be who he was designed to be We make him sit in a classroom 8 hours a day, and then he comes home to find more rules and regulations.
If you’re interested in finding a place where your teen boy can have that fire and drive in his life, you need to spend some time working on areas where he finds purpose.
What environment does your teenager find his eyes light up?
What does the ‘BEST DAY’ of his life look like?
Whom would he like to meet?
How can you begin to pave the way where he can engage in that place?
The problem with our world today is we expect everyone else to be paving the way for our kids, and the fact of the matter is, no one cares as much as you do. So get out there and start finding what gives your student’s purpose, and encourage them EVERY WAY YOU CAN!!
- Let’s give our students opportunities to fail
I know, I know, it’s too risky. If our kids fail at school, they may not get into the college they want. If our kids fail at sports, they may not be able to play on the team this year. If our kids fail at relationships, then they’ll be the outcast at social events.
But if our kids never have the chance to feel the pain of failure, they’ll never be able to get off the couch and try something new.
We have to stop being a culture that rewards performance, at least during the teen years. We need to find ways to reward a student who tries something so “out there” nobody would ever think of it.
Of course, I don’t think we need to give every kid a trophy for trying, but perfection and performance are killing our kids. They’re feeling the pressure to succeed in every area of their lives, and there’s no space for failure.
If you want to prepare your teenager for the real world, give them a space to fail and try again. Fear is paralyzing many of our older college graduates today, and they’re finding comfort in the basement, where no one ever harmed them.
- Let’s find motivators that speak to our kids
So many times, parents find their kid’s lives places where they can relive their own childhood. Dad wants his son to be the quarterback. Mom wants her daughter to be the prom queen. Much of parenting today can be seen through the eyes of what could have been in our lives.
But what of the motivators that speak to our kids? What if we spent the time mentoring them in order that we can find the disciplines that encourage their soul?
A Father may have the chance to be the biggest fan of his son’s acting career.
A Mother may have the chance to see her daughter be a construction manager.
A Father may see his daughter become a great leader.
While a Mother may encourage her son to be the top chef in the world.
All in all, the bottom line is this: If we want to prepare our teenagers for the world, we need to invest in the gifts they’ve been given. We can’t simply live our lives through our students, but rather; we have an obligation to encourage each of our kids individually into the men and women they were created to be.
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