Generations of Influence

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This allow us to be good mentors to others. To live in wisdom, we must learn from our elders, gleaning all that we can from their experiences. We also need to consider what the younger generations can teach us. Otherwise, our learning life is anemic. These two truths have enriched my understanding of what “Generations of Influence” means.

Expanding our constellation of mentors is a worthy goal. It is good to engage a variety of generations, including the young, to influence us towards good. But this challenges me. Why? In all humility, I have gained a lot of experience in my 53 years. The wisdom God has given me has not come easily. I am not supposed to take it for granted, but I may hold a bit too tightly to certain ideas.

Those in my generation often wrestle with a common temptation. After gaining wisdom with blood, sweat and tears, we settle into a place of rest. And in this calming space we think we have nothing more to learn, for we have already earned our stripes. I don’t want to bite that apple! I want to be generative in my old age, not stagnate.

I am fortunate in that I have the opportunity to be with 20-30 year olds on a daily basis at the Seminary where I work. As I mentor them, they mentor me. I want to grow in my ability to learn alongside the young. Thus, there are a few things I still want to learn.

Lifelong Learning from Other Generations of Influence

I want to talk less and listen more. Mentoring is best when listening is mutual. I do need to share my ideas. I also need to remember I have collected a lot of assumptions. Left unexamined, assumptions are dangerous. I find that younger generations help me test my assumptions. Talking less and listening more will help me know if I need to retain, adjust or abandon an assumption entirely.

I want to learn not only by addition, but also by subtraction. This takes my prior point to another level. When an assumption is tested, I might end up discovering it needs adjustment. This can be painful because it requires me to unlearn an idea before I relearn something new. It often helps when I give my young mentors freedom to tell me when my ideas don’t work (or are wrong). While their words might be hard to hear, I find that those younger than I are gracious amidst conflict or disagreement.

Therefore….

I want to get better at identifying common points of agreement. While I want to be told I am wrong, I also want the freedom to disagree with those assessing my assumptions. What should I do when this happens? Do I communicate my disagreement and risk destroying the dialogue? In a disagreement, it is often beneficial to identify what is shared. For example: Two of us may agree that God is love. But we might disagree on what love needs to look like in a given situation. Focusing on disparity can lead to broken relationships. Identifying what we share helps us stay close and dialogue.

Having a robust learning life is not easy. To remain generative, I must consistently practice the points above. Seeking to be mentored by those who come after me is a commitment. In all humility, I think they need me…but only if I also need them.

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