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But at LDG, we Design Leaders through Intentional, Deep-Change, Whole-Life, Transformational mentoring.
Intentionality is crucial to great mentoring sessions.
The best mentoring is purpose-filled and inside every exceptional mentoring session is purpose-filled intentionality. Good mentors—and those they are mentoring—are intentional about preparation.
They listen intentionally.
They are intentional about follow up.
And they are intentional about looking ahead from every session to what’s next.
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Prepare
A great mentoring session begins with clear agreement between the mentor and mentoree on the main subjects and objectives of the session.
At LDG, we normally are in touch with those we are mentoring 3-5 days in advance of a session. We almost always ask those being mentored to set the agenda for the session.
An excellent mentor walks with those being mentored. He or she helps them explore and discover their unique design and live into and out of that design.
For these reasons, those being mentored must set the agenda. At LDG, this normally means working through topics, ideas and concerns in at least two of the 8 Dimensions of a Whole Life.
But setting the agenda is a minor part of exceptional preparation. A good mentor will review both what has gone before and what is the mentoree’s target:
What has transpired in the past few sessions?
What has the mentoree expressed as his or her unique design and how that looks in the life they would like to achieve?
Will what we do together today move them along the path to their stated aim?
A good mentor is ready.
Listen
Great mentoring sessions, when well-prepared, start quickly.
An excellent mentor, however, will work hard right out of the gate at exercising the prime skill of a mentor: L – I – S – T – E – N – I – N – G!
If those being mentored set the agenda, they ARE coming with an agenda. They have a reason for wanting to talk about what is on their mind. An excellent mentor lets them talk, and listens!
Once an exceptional mentor discovers what those they are mentoring want to discuss—and why—good and well-aimed questions will draw them out.
He or she will dig deeper into the perhaps unstated issues and concerns—or joys and triumphs—of the mentoree and begin to help make those elusive links from where the mentoree is in a particular dimension of life to where he or she would like to be.
Questions typically move from increasing understanding of the present…
(“Will you help me understand…?” “Can you tell me more about…?” “What do you mean when you say…?” the possibilities are as endless and varied as the people we mentor)
…to helping them live in a way congruent with their unique design and who they want to be…
(“What should you have done…? “If you had it to say again, what words would you use…?” “What one or two things do you need to do—right now—to…?” Again, endless variations are possible.)
At the end of the question, the mentor returns to ears wide open.
A good mentor listens.
Look Ahead
Every great mentoring session will leave those being mentored with something to work on.
Let’s face it: none of us is living in full congruence with our unique design and who we want to be in every dimension of our life.
We all need work. We all need someone who will help us identify that work and hold us accountable to do it.
Excellent mentoring helps (not “tells,” “helps”) a mentoree explore options about what he or she may do to achieve a life more congruent with who they want to be.
One or two key things to work on from each session are sufficient. But a session should never end without SOMETHING a mentoree agrees to do to progress.
A good mentor looks ahead to what’s next.
Follow Up
Finally, a great mentoring session NEVER allows what has gone before to be forgotten or become stale.
An excellent mentor in nearly every session will have encouraged specific steps a mentoree can take to walk the path from who they are to who they yearn to be.
Reviewing progress on previously agreed-to actions is a crucial part of consistent, steady progress to living into and out of our unique design.
Follow up can happen in a short exchange between sessions. It can be the first item on the agenda of a new session, though that may interfere with some burning item a mentoree is prepared to dive into immediately.
For this reason, I normally delay the follow up to later in the session or do it in a short exchange between sessions. However and when ever he or she does it…
A good mentor is tenacious about follow-up.
Preparing, listening, looking ahead, following up. These are the keys to the best mentoring sessions.
How do you structure your mentoring sessions? We would love to know.
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