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…that help to define the intent of the best of mentoring we call “whole-life”. As shared in the last two weeks, the best of mentoring is always concerned with being intentional, moving toward deep change. No matter what is being explored, discovered, talked over, the best of mentoring always keeps in mind one’s whole life.
Personal admission: I’m sitting in my office, most likely with a bit of a smile on my face, and asking myself…how in the world do we talk about mentoring for the whole life in 800 words on a blog post?
As a leadership mentor for 36 years now, I understand that there is no “magic pill,” nor short cuts, to encouraging and experiencing men and women growing into all they were designed to be…no matter their age. The lingering question in the mind of the mentor needs to be:
“Who is this person
with whom I’ve the privilege
of walking with them into their future?”
As a whole-person mentor, in a wide variety of ways (which will be shared in future blog posts right here by some of those on our LDG Mentoring Development Team…who are some of those “best of mentors” I am privileged to know and work with) mentors need to always keep in mind this question:
“Who are you?”
Helping another explore and discover the depth of that question, is a major part of the best of mentoring. This is important, whether a person is mentored for a few months or for years.
This three word question lingers in the back of my mind in almost every conversation I have with anyone, let alone those I’ve the sacred privilege of mentoring. It is the question which will creatively and carefully, in time, help me and everyone I mentor to unpack, reveal, and focus forward the whole person.
No matter who is being mentored…what they do…their life experience, education, needs, hopes and dreams for their future…this question is a major key to being fully alive in every dimension of their life. This is as crucial for the mentor to have in mind for themselves as it is the mentoree.
Who are you?
Who am I?
In time, until one better comes along, I’ve several key books that help those I mentor to answer the “who are you” question. One book I use as a valuable tool in this process is by Brene Brown.
Her TED talk on vulnerability, given in June of 2010 at TEDxHouston only has 23,152,196 views on the TED website as of the moment I’m writing this to you. It is powerful enough that I’ve lost count how many times I’ve watched it, alone, or with one of these emerging leaders I mentor. Every time it adds substance to my mentoring relationships, and to me, the mentor, who is also on the grow. Pause now, and watch it…click here:
Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, is a significant book to aid those we mentor to be thinking about their whole life. Her subtitle invites us into the life-giving wisdom she shares—How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead. Early in the book (pg. 10) she writes:
Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
That is a thought-filled mantra for those I mentor…no matter what they are doing with their life. That is also vitally important for me, the mentor. This creates a circle of mentorship that will take mentoree and mentor on an adventure that, in time, will nurture growth that will be quietly amazing. All the time we keep in mind, who am I?
Next week I will suggest what takes place, what happens, over and over and over again, as mentor and mentoree keep aware of this question in the background of all that gets discussed, accomplished, lived out. Thus, we have one pillar to go to create a solid platform for the mentoring, the best of mentoring, you and I are about…intentionally, moving toward deep change, for one’s whole life.
Between now and next week I encourage, even challenge you to also keep that question in mind as you go through the hours of your own days with every encounter that comes your way, no matter who you are, no matter what happens, no matter where you find yourself. I also hope you will give yourself the gift of watching Brene’s TED talk, and reading her book.
If you have done all that already…do it again.
It will be worth it……for life.
Who are you?
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For more information on designing leaders through Intentional, Deep-Change, Whole-Life, Transformational Mentoring, download our free eBook.
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