Mentoring Moms

'Mom Shaming'

Have you heard the term? It’s one of the newer terms I’ve recently heard related to moms.  It appears with our advances in technology.

Some have used media to give their opinions to moms who don’t feed their kids the right food, don’t use the right sunscreen, don’t discipline them in the right way. The list goes on and on.

Earlier generations learned the “how” of being a mom, from their mother.  As I find myself mentoring moms in this current generation, many of them have not learned from their mothers.  It seems that fractured marriages and fractured relationships have taken their toll on any kind of intentional mentoring or role modeling from mom to daughter.

The positive side of all of this is that I see younger mothers reaching out to more mature women for advice and encouragement.  I see the church as a very effective means of bringing to moms this kind of support and encouragement.

Not long ago, I spoke to a group of moms at our church.  I entitled my talk, “The Agony and the Ecstacy.”

The joys of being a mom are usually pretty obvious.  The job of nurturing children, giving and receiving love, watching them develop, all the “firsts,” and the lessons they learn and you learn…can be wonderful.

However, one of the biggest “agonies” I’ve discovered in talking with moms, is what I call the lack of “self care.” Commitment to renewing who you are as a woman in the role of mother is crucial.

The demands of being a mom
is filled with self sacrifice
and too often
lack of time for one’s self.

One of the greatest gifts we can give a mom, is encouraging these women in the 8 Dimensions of their own lives.  Man or woman, we never stop needing to pay care-filled attention to our own life dimensions.

With one young woman in particular, I found myself helping her to focus on one dimension each month, until she was able to see the value to trying to integrate all eight, no matter how small the attention, into her life in a natural, consistent manner. Change and growth happens when any of us are intentional on not ignoring our own honest needs.

Her self care included making specific room for her marriage by scheduling a date night, finding a fresh way to bolster her spiritual life, getting a stroller walking partner to care for herself physically, and allowing her husband to take over a night a week so she cold continue her love of painting and allow her creative energy to blossom again.  By the end of eight months we had focused on all 8 Dimensions.  It did not take long for her to see the value of checking in with herself to see how things were going in each of those areas.

If a young mom does not seek you out, don’t be afraid to seek out one you know and encourage her on her mom journey. Instead of “mom shaming,” give her the incredible gift of “mom supporting!” LDG’s whole person mentoring model will help you do just that.

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Written by

Jorie Gulbranson, along with her husband Gary (Lead Pastor at Westminster Chapel in Bellevue, Washington), faithfully served on the Board of Directors of Leadership Design Group since beginning in the 1980’s. She is a trusted mentor of women, not only in their church family, but across our world. Jorie’s leadership in caring for women of all ages has her speaking at conferences, retreats, and doing personal mentoring of women leaders. Jorie is the proud mom to one married daughter and son-in-law, and the proud grandmother to one grandson and one granddaughter. She is familiar with the upsides and downsides of life, as she and her husband experienced the death of a newly married daughter by unknown causes a number of years back.

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