The Value of Good Friends

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…was the declaration in the midst of a conversation I had recently. This was declared by a man who is so wrapped up in his work life that he hardly has time to breathe, relax, enjoy what friends he may have. He had just dared to confide in me that he felt lonely and was daring to wonder why.

Of course, not everyone can have friends who are at the same intensity or involvement in a life. But my internal response to this man was, “Really…one hand?” He did not understand the value of good friends.

In our LDG Circle of Life Mentoring Model one of the 8 Dimensions of Life is what we’ve termed the Social Dimension. We encourage people to think about that (and every dimension…) in the first person. Thus, for you, and for me, it reads like this:

I will be committed

to developing and nurturing

healthy, meaningful friendships

taking time out to play and relax.

I will purposefully take time off, vacations,

even mindful daily pauses, for renewal,

regular sabbaticals from the pressures of life.

I will be a willing “student of delight and meaningful fun,”

some times even surprising myself

with what may take place.

Let’s both you and me take a dare at this point in reading this blog post. I am about to do what I am about to ask you to do. With some sacred, focused, life- enhancing intentionality, let’s stop…pause…and read slowly out loud those three sentences in blue as if we really mean them for ourselves.

Ready? Begin. Then return to here.

You have now said, hopefully out loud, three times, “I will…….” You and I then both need to follow our “I will’s” with these simple, yet profound questions:

When?

With whom?

What are the next several steps, today,

to activating what I just said I will be and/or do?

What will I suggest that I and my friend(s) do?

There are times in my life I need to be alone. I welcome that. The purpose-filled recharging of body, mind and soul in quiet and solitude is crucial to being a whole person for both you and me.

We each also need those valued times of being engaged with friends. I welcome that. The purpose-filled engaging with others is also needed to recharge body, mind and soul.
Unless you are an ordained hermit or monk (…and there are some of those…), we were all created for relationship. We’ve been created with the legitimate need for time out and renewal…daily, to annually, to often.

The best times of laughter I can remember having have almost always been with friends, whether old friends, or new ones. In times of crisis, having friends close at hand has had lasting value beyond what mere words can express.

One time, years back, at dinner with another couple (…with whom we’ve lost touch, as that happens as we move through the years of our lives…), the man, a brilliant, but rather droll soul, out of nowhere posed a question that surprised us all. With quiet sincerity he suggested that we each give a definition of the word “fun.”

As I write this I’m at my computer grinning from the memory. His wife, my wife, and I began to laugh. Where was this suggestion going?

But, dare I say, that whatever spawned the inquiry to define fun from these friends of days past, has me lingering over the value of friendships, past, present and even future. The best of friendships, old, new, even renewed, indeed, do have some fun wrapped up in them from time to time.

So, next time you are with your own friends, ask them to define the word, fun. Then, right then, on the spot, in those moments, why don’t you suggest that y’all define the term/word fun. Use that as a grand “excuse” to then plan a next outing, happening, moment in time, to enjoy your friendship…be creative…enjoy your friends! Have fun!!!

We four all came up with a definition for fun. Easily, I liked our friend’s definition best. It informs me to this day.

F
…frivilous…
U
…uninhibited…
N
…nonsense…

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